Friend #29

They're called Helicopter parents. The ones who hover. The ones who come for the rescue and just the right time, when things are at their worst and kids can't help themselves. Actually, the most daring rescues happen when children won't help themselves.
Julia is a Helicopter parent at its worst. I met her when she called me last month (after getting her son's midterm progress report), asking what her son could do to bring up his grade of 4% in my class. "Stay awake, not talk to his friends, do the work rather than practice graffiti on it, come to class sooner than 10 minutes before dismissal..." She defended her son, "Well, it's hard for me to get him to school on time. He has a difficult time falling asleep before 2am most nights and so I let him sleep in so he can get 8 hours of sleep." Really? This kid is 18 years old!
"Well, he can come in for tutoring on Fridays or after school and I'd be more than happy to help." This was four weeks ago and I have never seen him show up for tutoring. Why? Mom picks him up right after school so he can go to work on time. I wonder if she attends his work reviews and asks for his raises too.
This morning, Julia was at the front office desk when I arrived. She introduced herself to me (what? it's only 7:25am! Ahhh, Son was home still sleeping...) Julia was here to see what she could do to salvage her son's now 16% grade so that he could pass my class. It's the LAST day of school!!! She was making her rounds. She had two more teachers to talk to this morning.
"I'm afraid your son just isn't applying his self and won't until he has to face the consequences."
"So you're saying there's no way for him to pass the class?"
"He has completed one out of every six assignments. He never wrote an essay, nor has he read the novel we read in class because I was unable to wake him up while we read. In addition, he has missed 14 out of 36 class periods."
"Can you give him an 'incomplete' and he can do the work over the summer?" You mean, YOU can do his work over the summer...
"If he was here begging for a chance, rather than you, and he had a valid excuse for his behavior, I might consider it, but I will not in this case." Boy was it hard to not laugh.
"Ok, thank you. Can you show me where is third period teacher's room is now?..."
My ultimate wish for parents is that they appreciate and find joy in the learning experiences for their children. Being uncomfortable is good for everyone. Parents are doing their children a HUGE disservice when they hover and rescue. Children will never learn how to pull themselves up. Children will never see the value of hard work.
I'm guessing that Julia's son will not return to our school next year. I'm sure she's blaming me for not teaching her son. That's ok. I'm fine with having helicopters hate me.