Losing one's home must be near the top of the list of worse things that could happen to a family. Today I met Joan, who is going through a foreclosure. Her son is on my son's football team and when I asked her how the end of the school year has gone for her son, she said "Well, we're being foreclosed on right now, so we've been looking for a new neighborhood that will allow him to go to the same school next year." The way she just blurted out "We're being foreclosed on..." surprised me. Five years ago anyone would have been embarrassed to admit they were going to lose their home. Today it seems to happen to everyone. It's devastating and humbling. Joan said that their family is going through so many emotions: Joan and her husband feel they've let their children down and worry about how moving will affect the kids, the kids go between feeling angry, sad, nervous, and trying to be helpful by refusing their allowance.
Joan's husband lost his job with the City of Tempe last year and they've been relying on her nurse's income and her husband's tiny unemployment. She said she admires people who live below their means; it will save them if they ever encounter a family disaster.
I am proud to know that Mike and I live well below our means. We could have a huge home, but we choose not to. We could shop at pricey department stores, but that's a waste of money and resources. I guess I never looked at our "cheapness" as an admirable thing until Joan pointed it out. Before we bought this house, we looked at whether we could afford it if one of us lost our jobs. We could. Money would be tight, but we'd get by.
I'm sad right now for Joan for one reason - she believes that her family needs to stay in the affluent area they're living in now, in order for her kids to retain their neighborhood friendships. I don't know her well enough to suggest that it's not difficult to taxi kids a few extra miles, in exchange for living somewhere a little less expensive. So they will find a rental home in their neighborhood and keep on trying to stay afloat.
Good luck.
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