Friend #54

I have a new friend named Julie. She will be my new hair stylist now that my former one, Matthew, moved to California. But maybe not for long.

Julie tried unloading her Chihuahua's four new puppies on me during the entire visit. There are few things that annoy me more than chihuahuas. For one, the think they are bigger than they actually are, therefore acting like a Grizzly Bear with PMS is more than an attitude for them -it's a lifestyle. Another thing - their owners allll think they're soooo ceee-uuuute! They shed, they jump, they beg for attention, and that annoying bark!

Needless to say, Julie pointed out all of the wonderful things about chihuahuas (she has four of her own, plus the new babies. Gag.) "Right now they are the size of hamsters!" I thought dogs were created to hunt birds and coons and such...not run on a little wheel in a cage. I told Julie that if I wanted a hamster, I'd get a hamster and that by the way, hamsters don't bark or shed.

Then she informed me that these "little guys" are so portable, you can bring them anywhere. I already have the world's most grocery-store-shopping-challenged child, WHY would I add a barking hamster with the ego of a grizzly bear to the mix?

Luckily, Julie's last point of argument came during the blow dry part of my time in her chair. I heard waves of things like, "tiny, tiny widdle cwothes" and "celebrities..." and "couture collars."

For the fifth time, I reminded Julie that I have three wonderful, perfect fur balls of my own at home. None of which I clothe, talk to in baby talk, or buy gerbil wheels for.

The good news is that Julie's hamsters, er, dogs are up for "re-homing" (the new euphemism for adoption, puh-lease) in four weeks. I don't need a new haircut for at least three months.

Actually, now that I think about it and do the math, she could have a whole new damn litter of those gremlins by then. I think I'd better find a new salon.