Friend #67

I actually debated for a week about making Friend #67 public. He is so interesting and yet so...um...interesting.
His name is Parker. He is close friends with my brother and sister-in-law. Parker's reputation precedes him in a way that no other can.
I've been hearing about the Parker-and-Kelly team for a few months because they were expecting a baby during the same months as my brother and sister-in-law, Parris. While in the hospital waiting for my niece to arrive, my brother mentioned that they were going to save the placenta. "Hmmm," I thought to myself. My brother explained, "Our friend Parker made placenta vitamins when his son was born a few weeks ago and he's going to do it for us." Awkward stares filled the delivery room. He explained the theory that essential vitamins are lost when the placenta exits the body, and by turning the placenta into pills, the mother can replace those lost nutrients with her own. Gag. I think I threw up in my mouth a bit.
Fast forward one week. We're sitting on my brother's couch and he shows me the infamous jar of placenta vitamins that Parker has, in fact, created for Parris's enjoyment.
Here's how he did it (Warning: Gag factor in full-force): My brother took the placenta home in a double-baggie and stored it in his refrigerator. He then gave the placenta to Parker, who dried it out and baked it on low heat for eight hours in the oven (think beef jerky.) Parker crushes the remains up and transfers it into empty pill capsules found at the health food store.
I finally met Parker at the baby shower two weeks after my niece was born. With me being a bit inebriated , Parker was christened "Placenta Boy". He was proud of his work, however.
Gift-opening time arrived. The baby received the usual toys and clothes. Then it was time to open Parker and Kelly's gift. The first gift in the bag was an adorable set of tactile burp cloths for the baby to experience touching different textures. Parker and Kelly were up all night making these, of course.
Then Parris pulled out a roll of butcher paper. "Ohhhh, I know what this is!" she screamed. In his defense, Parker warned Parris that the shower attendees may not want to see this. But we did...sort of.
Parris unrolled a set of prints...made from her placenta blood. It looked like a massacre. It looked exactly like what it was: placenta blood dripped on butcher paper. "I'm going to frame these!" Parris exclaimed, excitedly.
And that was the height of the baby shower.